My man Jesus

What story is that?

Matthew 18:9

“And if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.”

“Jesus, how can I avoid sin when all these hussies keep revealing the fact that they have bodies?!”

“Hmmm, tough call bro. Have you tried gouging out your eyes so you don’t have to see all those bodies anymore?”

“wut”

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you tell them to… stop dressing like that or something?”

“Don’t see why. It’s not their fault that the fact that they have bodies makes you a fucking sinful horndog. Gotta fix that problem yourself, buddy. Go on, blind yourself.”

“Uh….”

“Or learn to keep it in your g’damn pants no matter what they’re wearing.”

He goes on for like several examples too.

“How can I avoid like, an accidental slip of the hand when…they’re dressin like that?”

“Cut it off.”

“wut”

“Cut it off. Your hand. If it’s a problem, stop having a hand.”

“wut”

“What”

CURSED CURSED CURSED CURSED

WHAT THE FUCK

The only pure version of this meme

This is what Sesame Street would have on their Instagram

aw :’)

Do you know how fucking HARD this is!? Turtles die of old age, naturally, that’s why they live so long. They rarely get sick and don’t have illnesses such as cancer or even the common cold, naturally occurring. So, for there to be turtle specific herpes……..it’s not a good sign.

This is really sad

So I googled this and apparently these turtles carry the herpes virus latently- that is theyre infected but they don’t have symptoms or problems. Stress is what causes these viruses to pop back up and lots of things cause stress. Even the wrong microbial environment can fuck this up. Human activity puts a huge amount of stress on these animals and their environment and as a result their immune system cannot keep the virus in check. We’re exhausting these animals into disease.